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Country Munchkins

Twins, Tantrums & Country Living in the Cotswolds. Motherhood, parenting, country cottage, kids, fashion, cooking

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Life in limbo…

Posted by CountryMunchkin on 16/06/201407/02/2019

Waiting for baby Johnson we took a little walk about the town, up the stunning Cecily Hill where the beautiful Cirencester Parish Church is visible from the top of the hill…

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Snapshot

I’ve really been feeling the intensity of living with a high needs child at the moment. It’s impossible to leave any room, shut any door, answer any phone call without a period of negotiating, placating, soothing or distraction first. I feel like a prisoner in my own home, never allowed to move where I want to, stand up when I want to, go upstairs when I want to. It’s a lot. And the thing is, despite how it might seem, it’s nothing I’ve done particularly. It’s just the way he is. There’s a tendency, when children are like this, to find fault, to assume it’s something the mother has done to ‘encourage it’ - because of their childcare choices or the circumstance of their home life or how much they ‘indulge’ their child. But, this needy boy of mine is a twin. And his other twin - who has the same mother, the same home life, the same childcare arrangements is not needy, is not clingy, is not worrisome. I know that this isn’t about what we’ve done, it’s just who he is. And it’s important to remember, that it’s not about what a mother with a needy child did, but about how she reacts to and meets this need. If you want to judge - though really, it would be better if you didn’t - don’t focus on what you think she has done to have a child like this, judge her for how she responds to those child’s needs. That is much, much more important. #highneedsbaby #highneedstoddler #twinboy #clingyboy #toddlertwins #naturenotnurture #motherhood #motheroftwins #twinlife

Pure magic. I recently transitioned the boys to pillows and duvets. Grobags are great and all but I kind of have a love/hate relationship with them. I know they lead to better sleep all round, but I really find them unsatisfying to put my children to bed in. I’m old-fashioned about some things, I guess, and I’ve always loved tucking my babies in at night, warm and cosy, their head on a soft pillow, curled under a warm duvet, slumbering happily. Needless to say, after purchasing beautiful bed sheets and organic-cotton-blah-blah duvets (I’ve tagged the brands in the pic), I placed them excitedly in the boys’ cots and looked forward (more than normal) to bedtime. Both boys got into their cots, looked down at this new lovingly-curated arrangement, shook their heads, picked the pillows up and handed them to me, before pulling their duvets up and solemnly shoving them over the side of the cot. Resounding success, I’d say. #backtogrobagsthen #bloodygrobags #bloodytwins #sleepingbabies #cotsheets #cotblankets #cotduvet #toddlers #toddlertwins #motherhoodthroughinstagram

Oh, for goodness sake, this child. Won’t eat anything, literally ANYTHING. But gallons and gallons of basil and pecorino dip? Sure. He’ll eat that. #wonteat #feedingtoddlers #pecorinoandbasildip #dipdip #crudites #babyfood #babyledweaning #feedingtoddlers

The strength of being selfish. Yesterday I ran a creative poetry workshop for a group of mothers dealing with depression and anxiety for @shine.pnd.art - I was honoured to be asked to run a session on a course that only recently had provided such a sanctuary for me. We did blackout poetry, which is essentially about taking something that already exists and looking at it anew, changing your perspective and finding new meaning in old words. It’s a good metaphor for recovery from mental illness and it was even more illuminating when we saw what incredible truths the mums had found in ordinary words. I loved my time with them all, especially the gentle, supportive conversation that flowed around their work, tentative, but passionate, heartfelt and kind. #motherhood #creativearttherapy #arttherapy #literarytherapy #blackoutpoetry #wordswithmeaning #pnd #motherhoodthroughinstagram #truthfulmotherhood #maternalmentalhealth

I vacillate constantly between thinking life is harder because I also have Elsa, and easier because I also have Elsa. On the one hand, she is another person whose needs have to be met, and helping her navigate the murky waters of that first year of school, the emotional turmoil of being five, the ups and downs of childhood friendships is quite the task at times and very often takes all of my mental strength. But on the other hand, she is the most kind and creative big sister, her games are so simple and clever, so fun and so exciting, so varied and so inclusive that the boys are just scooped up in her busy world, amused and delighted by all her inventive activities. Yesterday she and Monty hung out at/on the kitchen table - and she went through this animal placemat with him for about half an hour, getting him to do the noises and helping him with the ones he didn’t know. He was captivated and she was loving. Her attentiveness rivals that of any adult that the boys know. She is so often the perfect playmate, teacher, friend, sister. So today, I’m swinging towards an easier life. Thank heaven for little girls. #twins #littlebrother #bigsister #twinlife #twinmama #motheroftwins #twinstagram #siblings #animalnoises #beinghelpful #motherhood #twinmotherhood #motherofthree

Dynamic is a funny thing to get right. But this is the one that brings the most peace and harmony in our house. Elsa and Felix and all of their organised fun together in one room, Monty pottering and having lazy morning cuddles in the other. It seemed a bit weird to separate them initially - twins seem to come with an expectation that they’ll never be alone - but everyone is happier this way and there’s a lot less crying in our house. #twins #twindynamics #siblings #motherofthree #motheroftwins #twinlife #lifewithtwins #morningcuddles #babyboy #littleone #familydynamic

Days Gone By…

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